To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
