He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
