he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
