He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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