can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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