Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
