Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
