Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
