ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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