I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
