No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
