that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
