she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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