I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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