what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
