I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
