i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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