So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
handjob tips. give me some.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
