Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
