he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
