I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What changed your mind?
Being sober
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
