i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
