Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
