Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
