For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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