ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
