Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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