Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
