I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I AM VODKA MAN
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
