Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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