I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
