never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
