Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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