Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
