Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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