508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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