Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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