Non-Jews are for practice
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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