it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
