i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
