i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
