I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
