I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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