Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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