The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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