Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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