Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
And then he peed in my hair
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