you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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