when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
