sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Randomize
